Tips on Dealing with Families who dislike your spouse, miscarriage and my journey to healing, Natural Birth control, Relationship advice

Hello there, my sex-kittens! I was getting a few random questions lately in my inbox, and one or two of them actually was about a topic I recently wrote an article about -- the X-orgasm, so since there's been quite the discussion from you guys here and on my Tumblr page, I thought I'd link to a few of my articles here, in case it ever may come in handy for some of you... or in case one of you lovely people just find my article titles interesting enough to go take a peek! I'm going to put links to a few of my articles dealing with things like sex, orgasm and relationships below:

-  How To Deal With A Family Who Disapproves of Your Spouse

This is a relationship article, my most recent article was published this evening! It's the one called How To Deal With A Family Who Disapproves Of Your Spouse. I wrote this a couple weeks ago since the Holidays are coming up and well, people struggle to get along with families and deal with families who generally dislike their choice of partners. So in that article I share some really good tips. Or I think they're really good anyway!

  

- Natural Pregnancy Prevention Methods

This one speaks for itself! It's the most interesting one I've yet to get published, and yes, there really are natural ways to prevent pregnancy! Women have used them for years. For example, parsley or lemon!

  


- Communication Methods & Steps To Avoiding Anger






- Forget Time Outs and Counting To Ten -- Here's How We Fight!

This article called "Forget Time Outs And Counting To Ten -- Here's How We Fight." That one deals with fighting and anger in a relationship. My partner and I have been together for 6 years and I share some of our unique, funny methods of avoiding or sorting through the bad.

- Miscarriage -- My Experience And Journey To Healing 
 The article titled "Miscarriage -- My Experience and Journey to Healing" that article was written a couple months back. I talk about my own experience with losing two of my children and how endometriosis was a reason for it. I also talk in that article about how I broke through. I've talked a little over the past couple of years here on my page about our losses, but in my article I'm specific and share what it was like after the loss, going through it all over again and how I finally managed to break out of that awful, dungeon-y depression.


- God Loves Sex Too!

 This last article I linked to up there is called "God Loves Sex Too!" I wrote that article a couple of months back when there was some debate over Christians not "being allowed" to enjoy sex, or needing to feel guilty, condemned or wrong for enjoying sex with their spouse. So basically, I wanted to clear the air -- make it known that there are myths about Christians and sex, especially when it comes to women.

I'm linking to these articles of mine because a lot of them have to do with my own personal struggles. I just feel that sharing my own struggles and what helped me through different ones may be of help, so they're here if they ever do interest you guys. 

Crossing the line - what is & is not acceptable to say to someone in a serious relationship

CAN MEN AND WOMEN BE FRIENDS WHILE ONE IS IN A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE?

 -WHAT IS AND IS NOT ACCEPTABLE TO SAY TO SOMEONE WHO IS ALREADY IN A RELATIONSHIP? -


  The question everyone asks these days is "can a man and woman remain friends and only friends without one or the other wanting more? What do you guys think? Can they?

  Once upon a time, when I was young and felt that my male friends were more important than what they really were, I would've said sure, men and women can be friends and only friends. I knew better.

  As most of my precious readers know, I've been in a serious relationship for what will be 5 years this month! (Woo-hoo!)

  When we first started seeing each other, I had a lot of male friends. Throughout my entire life I have never had a male friend that did not express some kind of interest in me, even if it was only sexual.

  I no longer have male friends. After we started getting serious, my male friends (except for one who had expressed feelings in the past, when I was single but we moved past it and remained friends.) refused to respect me and my relationships. One male friend who I'd went to church with my entire life ended up proposing to me a couple of years ago out of the blue. He never showed much interest in me like that before. He had said I was pretty, but nothing more.

  That wasn't the only male church friend I'd grown up with who did this. There was another one who was a great friend until I became serious with my current BF. Then, he started crossing the line little by little. Finally, one day when I was extremely ill and unable to leave the bed, in and out of the hospital, etc. Him and his mother who I think of as my angel for helping me through my hospital times when the only other person who was there was my BF & dad. Anyways, her son  who I'd grown up with, close friends, went to church with sent me a text message that asked when I planned on leaving my current partner. He said he was tired of waiting on me and was angry! I didn't even know I had him waiting. We'd never talked about being together.

 Of course the BF got the text and flipped, caused a huge fight. I ended the friendship. If he couldn't respect me anymore than that, he was no friend.

  Besides that, I'm fine with no male friends. I don't want to be taken afvantage of like I used to be. I don't want to have men forcing themselves on me anymore. It got old, so I ditched them all.

  Well, I usually make it clear to most men in my life that I'm in a happy MONOGAMOUS relationship and I don't put up with crossing the line and disrespecting me. It doesn't work.

  The other night an old male friend started contacting me, he's got a live-in-girlfriend. Well, he crossed the line. I completely blew him off. He crossed the line again. I made myself clear.

  If you have a "crush" on someone who is in a relationship (happy or not) you do not cross that line! If you feel you must express your dying love for them, then maybe do so subtly and suggest that you would like to be more than friends one day should anything happen and this person become available. Then, you leave it at that.

  Almost in every situation, the person does not actually plan to leave just because you suddenly come along with an erection for them. They may eventually start giving in and telling you what you want to hear i.e. they aren't happy. But that's usually only because of the pressure being put on the person.

  If you want to remain in the person's life, I suggest being their friend should be good enough at least until they are available and decide they want to start a new relationship. Do not EVER pressure a girl into leaving. It'll only make her go the opposite direction.

  It's just so tacky and disrespectful to cross that line and nothing is tackier than doing it over and over. If you give her a nice compliment or just have to express your feelings, do it one time and leave it at that. If she decides to initiate anything, then let her do so on her terms only and definitely never engage in anything while she's still in the relationship whether she initiates it or not. Suggest she break it off with the other man first.

  Sometimes you're just going to have to settle for friendship or nothing at all, because chances are, if she's in a happy relationship (with struggles or not) you'll end up losing her friendship all together if you continue to cross the line. Is friendship not ever good enough? It's better than being cut out of their life forever right?

  Texting or calling someone who's in a relationship (especially when you are too!) more than once or twice a day is crossing the line.

  Texting things like "Good morning beautiful" or "Goodnight, dream about me." IS crossing the line.

  Texting things like "Send me a dirty pic." is beyond crossing the line and believe me, if the woman is anything like me, you'll regret that shit real quick.

  I believe you know when you cross the line. If you have to ask if her "will your boyfriend be mad if I say..." or "Is your boyfriend around?" then it IS crossing the line.

  I'm not saying you can't comliment a girl who's not single. Today, my BF and I went to a friend's really nice house and he had a few men that I've been around for years over. When I got out one of the men said "Who's that pretty little thang with you?" and the other said "Kendra, you're hair looks nice today." Which one do you think made me feel good? The hair comment!

  When he told me my hair looked nice it made my day! As for the married bastard that said "who's that pretty little thang?" I didn't gain jack crap from that compliment. The hair comment was sweet and meaningful. Not that saying a girl is pretty is wrong, but there's a tasteful way to do  it. Now, if it's a dirty comment that involves the word sexy, I think it can come off as rude to say to someone in a relationship.

 The reason I posted about this is because of recent happenings. It just makes me so angry that men just don't get it. I don't know why they have to cross that line. I'd really like to keep them as friends, but they make it impossible. There's no way I'm going to text someone who's texted me constantly for 3 days and questioning where I've been & why I was there so late when he has a girlfriend and I have a partner of my own. I mean, if you're unhappy in your relationship, I'm always glad to give help and I did that already, but I'm not willing to give myself. It took everything I had today not to say "Well, maybe your relationship would be interesting and fun if you weren't so busy texting me while your girlfriend sits home waitnig on you to just look in her direction."

 So far, the only male friends I have are the ones that are friends with both me and my partner and a couple of them are really amazing people. Just please people, do not keep crossing the line!

  When you cross the line once and she doesn't respond, take the hint. Don't make her cuss you out just to get you to stop.

  Does any of my lovelies out there agree? Do you think there is a line that should not be crossed, at least no more than twice?

A little update on my recent activity

 If you have read my last post, you know I've been having some issues and very discouraging ones at that. I just wanted to say a few things on the whole matter.

 First, I should mention just how down I was, letting guilt hold me back, etc. Then I opened messages from Sam from http://sam-huh.blogspot.com/ and Hanis from  http://keepthisonealiveinstead.blogspot.com/ they were both such a huge comfort.

 Sam gave me an amazing and kind piece of advice. She told me just what I needed to hear while dealing with some situations. She reminded me that I am a christian and everything I do reflects on my relationship with God. I realized that I haven't handled my recent problems in the best way.

  Hanis was very understanding and her message really brightened my day, showed me that I'm not alone. :) Much love to those girls! (By the way, if you've not done so already, check out both of their blogs p.s. wonderful blogs!)

Now, I'm letting it go, I am handing the entire thing over to God & trusting that he will handle it. After all, he is capable of much more than I am. I do apologize for showing my lack of control on here this week. It was terrible.

 The thing is God has been dealing with me in an area that I really suck at: confrontation, standing up for myself. Instead of standing up for myself, I totally went off this week. That's not acceptable behavior, not to me. I'm better than that. I don't have enemies so I haven't had uch experience in dealing with them. I've had people hurt me, terribly and I usually bless the person who's hurt me and go on. Lately, it's been more complicated. I'm sure many of you can relate to where I'm coming from.

Anyways, a BIG thank you to Sam & Hanis who has helped me have more hope, faith, encouragement.

 Now, this doesn't mean that I'm going to allow people to continue to run me over. I'm just going to deal with it the way I normally do. God's way.

 And I of all people know that those who deliberately hurt God's people, will experience God's wrath. God  will repay those who hurt you.

 ..."Do not take revenge my friends, but leave room for God's wrath"
      ~God will repay those who hurt you.~

             Now, that is comforting.


So, here's to me forgiving, leaving it to God, and being forgiven myself for the sins I committed.



 But, to all of those who truly do bully people, to all of those who have been disturbingly cruel to me & others, I hope you learn from my situation. I hope you will think twice before hurting someone. There is a difference in disagreeing with someone and being cruel. And to those of you who had no idea of my situation and judged me, I ask that you don't do that until you know 100% all of the facts/story.

My PeArL of the day

 My PeArL of the day...


 And Jesus said unto them..., "If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain remove hence to younder place and it shall move and nothing shall be impossible to you."

 I wanted to post this as my PeArL of the day because this specific verse has great value to me at this point in my life. I am going through a really terrible time and I found this verse helpful (especially if spoken aloud and meditated on)

 So, I thought I'd share with you, my inspiration. I hope this will bring you comfort too. I always like to confess the word of God. It has so much power when spoken aloud. Meditating on the word is another powerful way to overcome anything! Just try it.

Women - crazy, overly emotional wacko's or just simply human?

 For centuries women have had this reputation of being overly-emotional-whacko's-that expect men to be mind readers. Have you ever wondered why women do these things that seem so bizarre? Well, I am here to further explain... and hopefully change your mind! If I fail then, I do apologize but, please be a little open minded.

 Let me just simplify this:

Women: when men have done something that upsets us we put on our "bitch face" and refuse to speak.

Men: Eventually realize the problem isn't going away so they ask "What is wrong?" This usually results in the man being chewed out and possibly even given a black eye. Then, in most cases the female will say something along the lines of "you mean to tell me, you have no idea why I'm upset?" The male is totally confused. What do we think men are mind readers? That's probably what the man will say in these situations.

Women: We don't see it that way. We see it as he upset us. Now, he's no clue why we're upset and thinks we think he's a mind reader. We don't expect men to be mind readers, just body language readers. It's not easy to just come out and say "Look, you are pissing me off." We use body language to speak just as much as we use words to speak. So, we just think men are crazy for not noticing we're pissed.

 So, really all most women want (in this particular area) is for the male to notice her upsets and to us, noticing = caring. When the male addresses the reason why she's upset, that can make a world of difference. Nobody wins! or, even better everybody wins!

You see? You address her needs, and she's happy. When she's happy, she makes YOU happy. Are you with me here?