5 Ways to Stop Your Mental and Emotional Set-Backs From Keeping You Stuck

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Whether it's anxiety, depression, a phobia, or all of the above, most people feel dealing with them feel like they're running into a brick wall. Sometimes repeatedly. Depression and anxiety commonly cause us to feel stuck. But do you know why?

Fear. 

Photo credit: ASweeneyPhoto

This little 5-letter word is behind practically every case of depression and anxiety? The saying, "we're driven by fear" is so true, right? For most people, every action they take is out of fear. And they don't even realize it.

People overwork themselves out of fear of not having enough money. (Understandable, but a fear-based action nonetheless.)

People spend their money out of fear. Just take, for example, how many people spend thousands on insurance and home security systems. (That's not to say that it isn't a proactive and very smart thing to do, it does paint a picture of just how much our society lives in fear.)

  Like with most things, our mental and emotional set-back are also fueled or "driven" by fear. Even our own unhappiness is often based on fears when we look deeper into it.

 Nobody deserves to live in fear and nobody deserves to live a life that makes them feel stuck. Yet thousands of my readers feel both stuck and fearful. You've probably arrived here because you feel that way, too. And you want the mental and emotional set-backs to stop controlling your life. 

That's exactly why I've laid out 5 simple, but effective ways you can get more control over the emotional and mental set-backs instead of them controlling you.

1. Stop Owning Your Problems (and Fears)
Three words: Law. of. Attraction. 

What you think about and what you tell yourself and others will become your actual reality. If you continuously thinking about what scares you, your fears start manifesting quicker than you can burn your morning toast.

When you constantly claim an illness, it's almost like you invite it to become part of you. Slowly, this illness (or other problem) grows until it become your reality. Just take a gander at the years of posts and articles I've written on how I spent most of my adult life being severely ill from my anxieties and thoughts i.e. fears.

Ponder on this:
if you can easily create a lasting problem or illness for yourself just by claiming it or giving continuous thought to it, you can do the very same by giving thought to the opposite.

In other words, stop claiming your illness/problem/set-back and start claiming your joy, great health, and stability.

It works. I've been on the journey myself.


2. Stop Being Worthless

I know, that's harsh if not downright mean, but what I mean is stop letting yourself continue with a life routine that keeps you feeling worthless day in and day out.

P.S. This has been a big area of struggle for me, which is why I feel comfortable saying what I have. There were times that I felt so worthless that I found it difficult not to believe that I was nothing more than a burden to those who love me. I thought I was unworthy of even the smallest favor. 

Do yourself (and me, please?) a favor and change this now. 

Do not wallow in or even entertain the thoughts that bring up feelings of worthlessness. It will never help you to become any more worthy and it's completely counter-active to what you want to achieve. 

Stop counting all the ways you must be worthless. You aren't. I promise.

What you can do to combat feelings of worthlessness:
 I've taken the advice of some experts in this field and have been able to transform those useless thoughts and feelings of being worthless.
 

Get out of your head and get into the world, in any way that you can manage.
 I started making a deliberate and conscious effort to get out of my head space and be with my loved ones. Even if it's just sitting with my nieces and nephews for a few minutes -- it's all about building yourself up with small things, and there's nothing that makes you feel as worthy of life as being around those who make you feel needed. 

Or pets. If you're an animal lover, spend some time reveling in the love vibration you feel when petting your animals. This is thought to be very healing.

At the very least, being around the pets or kids always means I'll be put to good use. The turtles need feeding, the cats need petting, the dog needs a bath. Kids help with their homework, the TV channel changed, something to eat, or someone to read them a book.

 At least doing homework, changing the channel, bathing, or feeding the pets is a distraction from the paralyzing feeling of depression. These little creatures force me to get up and do something, and a lot of times, that's what we need.

If the feelings of low self-worth comes from your circumstances, (like in my own case: feeling like I haven't been doing much with my life or for others) simply reaching out to an old friend, have a get-together, or spending time with a family members will do wonders. When I've hit a low place, I like to make a promise that I'll show up at a friend's place. The key is to show up, and to keep doing it. Even if it doesn't cure anything, it always works to distract you from the negative thoughts that are keeping you stuck.

I've learned that the best thing I can do is take up any opportunity that provides distraction. 

Another helpful activity for anyone who's suffering with the feeling of worthlessness:
Before you go to bed tonight (or as you wake in the morning), don't do anything until you've listed at least a few things that make you feel worthy. For example, did you accomplish something that wasn't easy to tackle?

P.S. Make your results even more powerful by taking time to write (or type) the list. 

This activity helps you move forward because it inspires the urge to do things in your day that allow you to feel worthy. Or better put, things that remind you that you are worthy.

3. Hold Yourself Accountable
Whether it's completing one small project or task on your to-do list or just making yourself get up, make that effort. Beforehand, remind yourself that you don't have to follow through to the end (yes, even if it's just a shower), you just have to start.


Now is the best time to do those things because you will feel insanely proud for having overcame part of the difficulty and completed something that you've wanted to ignore so badly. 

Making the smallest attempts to do whatever it is you need to do but don't feel like doing will empower you. It's kind of like proving to yourself you can do something that once felt impossible. Then, you'll want to see how many more "things" you've dreaded that you can get done.

I use this technique so often that it's become almost a ritual. It never fails to uplift me as it's a way to prove to myself that I can do the things that I never thought I could manage.


4. Free The Emotions That Keep You Down
 For the emotionally-driven set-backs many people swear by EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), but if you aren't into that, you need to at least work on your belief system.

You can start by instilling a brand new belief within yourself: The belief that you can change anything easily. Your circumstances, your situations, anything. It might take you a month to really believe it, but don't slack on reminding yourself everyday that you can change this situation.

Without the hope of knowing you can change things, you won't be as motivated towards the life you want. 

Remember, you are not your "problem." 

Oh, and while we're at it, let's stop referring to things as "our problems."


5. It Won't Last Forever, Not Even Your Circumstances

Just breathe. Whatever feels like it could ruin your life in one minute, it won't. You can change your mind any time you want to and same goes for your circumstances. The second you've decided that you want change (whether it's regarding your mental/emotional state or your financial state), it's already on its way to you. It really does happen as quickly as the time it takes you to think the thought "I want a change."

Think about it, our circumstances always change, even when we aren't trying to change them. 

Stop focusing so hard on how badly a change needs to occur and start breathing and knowing it's already occurring. It's on its way.
 

Let's pause while you tell your mind "it's all fine and good."

Did you do it? Good... 

The change will occur. You need to take it slowly, stop the hurried thoughts that scream "it must change now or else!" and know that the change is occurring, just in a comfortable, gentle manner.

Okay, I'll give you one more than what I promised...

There's also psychotherapy, which is a scary word, but in this new age world, we have options that rely less on drugs and more on healing on deep levels.  

Take Daniela Maltauro at http://danielamaltauro.com/ for example, -- she's a psychotherapist who I admire for her unique approach to therapy in areas such as couples therapy. 

Her approach -- which involves focusing on honesty, trust, caring, and best of all, hope --  takes psychotherapy to a new level, something that has been an inspiration to me, as someone who has struggled with personal issues such as anxiety, feelings of unworthiness, and anxiety. 

I have never actually gone through therapy or counseling, but I try to keep up to date with new approaches in the industry. It's also worth noting that certain "psychotherapy services" (a simple couple's retreat, for example) can be useful for anyone, not just someone with a diagnosed mental health "illness."

 Do you have anything you could add to this list of ways to stop letting setbacks get in the way of your everyday, joyful life? If so, please share them with everyone in the comments section.

Remember to have fun. 
And have a safe, joyful Labor Day weekend!