THE HATE WORD

THE BIG DATING MISTAKE

Well today I made a huge mistake and now Im suffering and I thought maybe I should share my dating mistakes with you and hopefully, you can avoid them.

So, I have been in the same relationship for almost four years and I have been livin with a disease almost my entire life (endometriosis) and its gotten worse the last few years. I am just now having surgery done to 'fix' me. My dr. told me to avod any stress at all costs since it makes my problems much worse. Ive had a hard time with that except for yeserday I was doing so much better.Today was even better it was going super great until...

Me and the boyfriend were seeing one of his friends when his friend said something that is very offensive and hurtful to me. Something I have alot of problems with and I completely went off. My boyfriend says to me "Its a joke I promise I would never do that to you" (referring to what his friend said to me) But  I blew up anyways. "It's not an f'n joke when it hurts a person!!" I said. His friend said "sorry I didnt mean to get you in trouble" That pissed me off worse!

So I got all upset because he said it's just a joke, to me it was the furthest thing from a joke. So then he blew up on me, well I end up having a panic attack in the parking lot (thats what happens when I stress bad) Humilliating! Then we argued for a few hours. I am not an angry person, I do not argue or fight I cant stand it.

But when he gets mad it takes a long time before he calms down enough to talk normal. I can not take someone yelling at me. I have never had to deal with that. Even growing up my parents have never fought, they had arguments but no yelling and breaking things. I am just not good with conflict at all.

So, while he's all yelling at me I freak out and say "I HATE YOUR GUTS!" oh my! I never say  those words, ever. I just dont believe in saying that. But I did. The damage is done.

My tip is: DO NOT  say such strong words if you dont mean it. It can really hurt a relationship. Of course I dont hate him I just really wanted him to stop yelling  and now I've hurt myself by geting o upset that I made myself sick, and hurting someone that I really love. I think hate is just a horrible word. Dont say it unless you really have hate for a person.