GUEST WRITER OF THE MONTH: ED ARTHUR

  I'd like to say congradulations to Ed Arthur for making Guest Writer Of The Month.

*NOTE: All work is exactly as submitted by the author. The author holds ALL rights to his/her work. This means, DO NOT, under any circumstances, copy or claim the author's work as your own.*

Ed Arthur is an aspiring screenwriter from San Diego, currently living in Los Angeles, California. Ed has taken many writing courses in community college and a creative writing workshop at the local library. Ed is currently working on a screenplay called “Wishes from Heaven” which should be finished by the spring of 2010.



FADE IN:


EXT. EL DORITO BAR & GRILL - DAY

White and blue-collar workers mingle in the parking lot. They waite to be admitted into the restaurant. A bright neon sign FLICKERS:

HAPPY HOUR 5-7 PM

INT. EL DORITO - LOUNGE - DAY

The scene is abuzz with female office clerks as they parade their bodies for ogling construction workers. A certain guy stands out from the normal crowd He fights his way through the maze of people. His name is RANDY, late twenties, slight facial hair to detract from his receding hairline. He adjusts his ill-fitting eyeglasses as he tries to read a printout from the website.

INSERT - PAPER

Billionaire Match Maker.com

"Where rich boys meet nice girls"

Glamour shot of a blonde bombshell.

BACK TO SCENE

Randy compares every blonde girl to the piece of paper, and suddenly - sees her.

RANDY

(to self)

Oh, no. Can't be.

Randy does a double-take. He walks by to get a closer look while shielding his face - it's her!

Randy's face flushes. His breathing fluctuates.

RANDY

(to self)

Be strong, think positive.

Randy takes a quick hit of his inhaler for added confidence. He walks over to the table, looking more clumsy than manly. Her eyes lock onto him as she makes him out from the crowd. Her name is KIM, late-twenties, single mom, cute blonde that has been around the block a few too many times.

Randy's assurance falters as he gets closer. Kim tries not to be so obvious as she baby-sits a strawberry margarita.

KIM

(to self)

Oh, crap! Can't be him! No, no, no!

Randy's steps get faster as he reaches out to shake Kim's hand.

RANDY

Hi, my name is...

Suddenly - Randy stumbles and CRASHES on the table. In a split second the margarita is all over Kim's white dress. Randy looks up from under the table.

ON KIM

Fuming.

KIM

Look what you DID!

RANDY

I'm sorry... it was an accident...

Randy grabs a napkin and wipes the drink off her dress - instead he brushes her chest.

KIM

What are you DOING?

Kim SLAPS him. Randy is shocked. His face turns red.

RANDY

I'm... I'm --

KIM

This is a new dress!

Feeling guilty Randy throws a wad of money on her. Kim is even more agitated. She SLAPS him again.

KIM

Who do you think I am??? A WHORE?

Randy is ashamed. Kim storms off.

RANDY

I was only trying to help...

A WAITRESS witness's the fiasco and comes over to help.

WAITRESS

(sympathetic)

Are you okay? Here, let me help.

The waitress cleans up the mess and straightens the table.

RANDY

I can't believe this. It's supposed to be a blind date and look how it turned out. I can't do anything right.

WAITRESS

It happens to everyone, don't be so hard on yourself. Let me get you a drink, you'll feel much better.

RANDY

I'll have the strongest drink you have, I need to get drunk.

WAITRESS

You don't want to do that, let me get you something easy, to relax.

From the corner of the restaurant, Kim, approaches. Her dress is somewhat cleaner but still wet. The waitress notices her.

WAITRESS

(whispers)

Here she comes. Take a deep breath and speak slowly. I'll come back to check up on you.

Randy is more nervous than ever. He takes another hit of his inhaler. She takes a seat on the table with Randy.

KIM

(ashamed)

I feel so bad, let's try this again...

She extends her hand.

KIM

Hello, my name is Kim, what's yours?

With a sudden burst of confidence, Randy shakes Kim's hand.

RANDY

(politely)

Nice to meet you Kim, my name is Randy.

Kim's eyes light up, her smile sparkles.

RANDY

Listen... I'm... I'm so sorry about what happened --

KIM

No, don't, don't, don't... forget about it, okay? It happened, it's over.

RANDY

(relieved)

I'm so glad that you understand, I thought you walked away forever.

KIM

Oh, no, I wouldn't do that to you... so Randy, tell me about yourself, I read on your profile that you invented an on-line game.

RANDY

(animated)

Oh yeah, it's called "First Life." It's a social virtual game where you can be anybody you want.

KIM

Oh, really?

RANDY

Yea, it's big in Poland.

(proudly)

I used to be... well not me.. but the virtual me, used to be this tall, muscular, blonde guy with long hair. My name was Tom Chase, I owned a lot of real estate and drove fast cars.

(reflecting beat)

And now...

KIM

And now what?

RANDY

(feeling inferior)

Well... this who I am.

While Kim thinks of a compliment, the waitress returns.

WAITRESS

Here's your drink.

(to kim)

Can I get you another strawberry margarita?

KIM

Ohhhh, no! Thank you. I'll have a Tanqueray and tonic, please.

WAITRESS

I'll be right back.

KIM

(to Randy,softly)

Take off your glasses.

RANDY

What?

KIM

Your glasses, take them off.

RANDY

Oh, these are my spare glasses, I sat on my good ones.

Randy's blue eyes flutter, he squints.

KIM

You have beautiful eyes Randy, you should get Laser. My friend Lucy got it and now she can see like a chicken hawk.

RANDY

I'm afraid of doctors, they like to cut off things with their sharp little knifes.

KIM

Oh, come on, Randy. You gotta take a chance. And your hair...

RANDY

What about my hair?

KIM

Well... you can shave it off, a lot of guys do... you can look like Bruce Willis

The waitress returns.

WAITRESS

Here's your drink. Can I get you anything else?

KIM

Yes, we'll have your fiesta platter and bring us a pitcher of your Cadillac margarita, blended.

KIM

We're 'gonna have some fun, Randy... Are you up to it?

RANDY

Well... I never really had fun before... but.. Okay! Let's do it!

MONTAGE - RANDY AND KIM HAVE FUN TOGETHER

Kim and Randy laugh.

Kim feeds Randy a mini-taco.

Waitress tells them a joke.

They laugh with another couple.

Randy wears a red sombrero.

BACK TO SCENE:

Hours pass by.

KIM

I have to go to the ladies room, I'll be right back.

RANDY

Okay... I'll be here waiting.

Randy is left alone with his thoughts. Moments later Kim comes back.

RANDY

You know what Kim? You never told me about yourself.

KIM

Lemme see... I was a High School cheerleader, prom queen. I was very popular, had tons of friends but...

(reflecting beat)

something happened.

RANDY

(intrigued)

What?

KIM

(embarrassed)

I got pregnant.

RANDY

(surprised)

You got what?

KIM

Pregnant! You know! I had a baby! Right before college.

(sadly)

Then my world fell apart.

Kim eyes start to swell.

KIM

My parents were ashamed, they deserted me. All of my friends talked about me, calling me a whore.

RANDY

You're kidding?

KIM

(defiant)

NO! Why would I joke about that! Then to make things worse...

(beat)

my boyfriend left me. I was left all alone with my son.

RANDY

What's his name?

KIM

(tenderly)

His name is Travis, he's nine.

RANDY

Why didn't you tell me?

KIM

Because you would judge me! Everybody does! Everybody uses me, then dumps me!

(grasping emotionally)

But my son is all I have... he's the only one that keeps me from driving off a cliff.

Kim looks deeply into Randy, with tears dropping from her eyes.

KIM

(hoping)

You wouldn't do that to me?... Would you, Randy?

RANDY

(at a loss)

I... I... I don't know, Kim. This is way too much for me right now. But you know what?

KIM

What Randy?

RANDY

If you're willing to take a chance on me, then I'll take a chance on you.

KIM

You got a deal.

They shake hands.

A long awkward beat.

Suddenly, Kim breaks out into laughter.

KIM

HA! HA! HA!... I'm so sorry... ha! ha! ha!...

RANDY

What? What?

KIM

I just had a visual... you with long blonde hair... driving in a fast car... looking like Fabio... Ha! Ha! Ha! your hair blowing in the wind... ha ha ha...

RANDY

Who's Fabio?

KIM

Oh, my god... I'll tell you later. Hey I'm feeling kinda typsy. Wadda you say we break outta this joint.

RANDY

Yeah... I think my face is all red.

KIM

I'm tired of this chip and dip, chimichanga, fiesta place. Let's go to a real restaurant.

Randy waves the waitress over, she hands him the bill.

RANDY

Thanks, you're the best waitress ever.

WAITRESS

Told you it would work out.

Randy leaves her a big fat tip.

KIM

Hey! We're too messed up to drive!

RANDY

Don't worry I brought my chauffeur.

KIM

You mean a limo?

RANDY

That's for another day; just my driver for now.

KIM

Wow! You are so cool.

RANDY

(whispers)

Can I hold your hand?

KIM

(whispers back)

How much did you say you're worth?

RANDY

MILLIONS!

KIM

Wow! You can hold anything you want.

They leave for the front door

RANDY'S POV:

The crowd of people make a pathway.

Confetti flies through the air.

Guys cheer him on.

Girls woo over him.

Thunderous applause as they exit.

EXT. EL DORITO PARKING LOT - NIGHT

They wobble towards a Lincoln Town car, a DRIVER awaits.

RANDY

Hey Kim...

KIM

What's your pleasure, Randy?

RANDY

Are you willing to sign a prenuptial?

KIM

A PRE WHAT?

RANDY

My lawyer says...

Kim is drunk by now - like duh!. She takes a SWING and tries to slap him - she misses.

KIM

Tell your lawyer to shove his prenup up his wahoo...

The driver opens the back door. Kim wraps her arms around Randy's neck.

KIM

Come over here Randy... you long haired animal...

(seductively)

make me grrrowl...

The driver closes the door.

FADE OUT.

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