Healthy Happy Wholesome: Everything about women

GUIDE TO WOMEN

(EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW)

Men, you will need a p.m.s. survival kit on hand. this kit will help you be well prepared every 28 days. this kit will include chocolate & lots of it, ice cream, a bottle of pamprin, plenty of feminine products to avoid those "honey, can you run to the store fo me" moments, and possibly a helmet for the mood swings.
Caution: the female can be VERY aggressive, sometimes even violent during this time. Remember to wear a helmet at all times!
It probably would not be in your best inerest to invite your parents over for dinner for at leat 72 hours.
Also, don't bother asking because, she is 'not in the mood!!'

                       - 10 things to NEVER say to a woman-

You are just being too emotional.
You are acting just like my ex girlfriend!
when are you due?
You are almost as pretty as --- (another girl's name)
wanna have a threesome?
Wow! it must be your time of the month.
who are you kidding, we both know you could never really shoot me.
are you sure you want to eat that?!
Thanks babe, how much do I owe you? (after sex)
I would like to watch you with another woman...

-DATING TIPS, DO'S AND DON'TS-

Everybody has had at least one of those dates that are just absolutely horrifying, where you just can't wait to get the heck away from the person and immediately block their number from ever calling your cell.I know I have been there a time or two. So from my crazy, expiriences I thought I would give you my dating do's and dont's...

First, blind dates usually never a good idea. To avoid the blind date that looks like he/she has been hit with the ugly stick and then hit again with the even uglier stick (kinda mean sorry) ask for a picture first. Have the person send you a picture from their phone or have the person who is setting you up get a picture for you, just so there aren't any surprises.

The arrogant type.
We have all had those dates where the person seems to be great until you are out with them and they only want to talk about themselves. Never do that on a date! It makes you seem arrogant and full of yourself. Do share things about yourself but try and be subtle for the first couple of dates. I actually went out with a guy that was full of himself. He was very nice but the first 2 dates we were on he kept asking me to ask him questions about himsself. So I asked several simple questions and he answered and said "ok, ask more questions about me." So I asked a few more. He said "anything else you wanna ask?" I said no, Ive heard enough. So later on he says to me "ask me some more questions about myself" So I did and he did the same thing! And the crazy thing was that out of all of the questions there was nothing unique or fun about him he was just a simple guy so I did not get why he thought his life was SO special that he had to tell me everything about him I figured maybe he had alot to share but that wasnt the case he was just a normal guy. The next time I decided to see him he done the very same thing! The entire time he kept telling me "ask me some personal questions" Then he tells me we should run away together and get married! I was thinking ok, you know Absolutely nothing about me because the entire time you'v been to busy telling me about you boring life so how can you want to marry someone that you dont even know! Needless to say I cut him loose real fast!

Then theres the clingy type.
We all know at least one of those. They constantly need to be around us which is nice to feel wanted but sometimes a woman needs her space! They call or text every 5 minutes. Eventually we say to them "look!, I can not talk to you I am super busy so when I get a chance I will call you." Then before an hour has passed they start calling again "can you talk yet? are you still busy?" That is just annoying and acting like that alot of times will scare the person off and make you seem needy, and desperate. So if the person says they are busy its best to wait for them to call.

The obnoxious type.
They are very loud and obnoxious. The type of guy that takes you out to dinner and shows you his spaghetti up the nose and out the mouth trick. Talk about embarrassing! Those are the kind that are constantly making jokes and playing 'frat pranks' and that can really get annoying. never put a whoopi cushion under your girl friend's chair cushion or swap her shampoo with urine. Chances are she wont find it funny. Try to tone it down some if you actuall want to see her again.

The controlling type.
Those people dont always lead to a healthy relationship.
They usually end up getting jealous over simple things like a co-worker has the 'hots' for you and they end up trying to control you and often putting your career in jeapordy. Sometimes even leading to abuse. They like to control everything you do and who you do it with. That can cause alot of problems. Make sure to let a person know immediately that YOU are in control of YOU. Then the chances of them controlling you will be smaller but you have to know when its time to leave a relationship like that. You can not always change a person.

The type that just wants sex.
If and when you do run into that one, usually your best bet is to get out quick! Unless you are looking for the same thing or just want a fling. Those kind of people dont fall in love with a woman they fall in love with sex. Hate to be the one to say it but it's true. Many women have been there and often one person ends up wanting more in the relationship and the other not so much. The ones that just want sex are often the ones that will be quick to cheat.